By Nyasha Dube
First of all, allow me to apologise on behalf of my sisters, my fellow women rights defenders. We have been awfully quiet towards your plight. Please forgive us.
Secondly, maybe we should observe a moment of silence for all the women we never stood up for. Yes. We killed them, emotionally if not physically.
We failed to speak up for them because we are scared. We are scared because we are divided and such is what perpetuates the endless suffering of women in the hands of those with power.
Nobel Peace Prize winner Desmond Tutu wrote in his 1984 book, Unexpected News: Reading the bible with Third World Eyes,
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”
Desmond Tutu
We have mastered the art of hiding behind neutrality, handpicking our struggles to fit into our comfort zones.
Listen, I’m not here to attack anyone or dismiss the efforts of my fellow sisters who have fought tirelessly for a good cause.
However, I believe that part of growth is pausing, reflecting and asking ourselves what we can to better.
Unfortunately, we have developed a habit of choosing who we stand for and who we ditch. In as much as we have freedom of choice and association, we have to be careful not to end up being hypocrites, fighting for our favorites and turning a blind eye to our “enemies.”
I say enemies because we are always divided by the language we speak, our skin color, our body anatomy, where we come from, the list is endless.
As long as we are polarized we will always fight each other instead of facing the common enemy, patriarchy.
Power struggles will always exist in this battle and let us not be fooled when the enemy invites us to dine with him.
As women, when we are in positions of power we tend look down upon the marginalized, and when we are marginalized we despise those in power.
What we forget is that the struggle is bigger than us. It requires us to unite and stand together despite our differences.
We have watched, from the terraces, the story of Mary Mubaiwa unfold and our silence as women has been deafening.
It’s time to introspect, to ask ourselves: Who we really are, what we stand for, WHO we stand for.
Come to think of it, we have all been in Mary’s shoes one way or another, or we know someone who has been. We have seen women being “punished” and denied access to their children. We have seen women fighting countless court battles and losing themselves in the process.
Unfortunately Mary has lost more than she can recover, she now has to deal with a new reality, being a woman with disability on top of all the trauma she has endured, having to lose custody of her children.
In our defense we may ask “What if she’s guilty?” It really sounds like a fair question but it goes back to: Who do we fight for?
Do we only speak for the innocent, because in the vicious circles of power that does not matter.
We all know or have heard about rape victims who were failed by the same justice system, divorcees and single mothers failed by the same system, women with disabilities or mental illnesses being failed by the same system. Were they guilty? No. Their only crime was being women in a patriarchal society.
Mary could be you, Mary could be me. She could be your mom, sister, aunt, grandmother, or friend. Her struggle is my struggle. Her struggle is your struggle. How would you feel if no one stood by you when you were vulnerable the most?
Maybe what we really need at this point is empathy. Not only to be able to walk in her shoes but also to listen and understand when she tells us what it’s like to be in her shoes, and do something in solidarity, as sisters, knowing that by speaking up for one woman we have fought for a million other women who are in the same plight. If we speak up and we are heard, we will know that even women in generations to come won’t have to suffer in silence, we would have paved a way for them.
By remaining silent, we have played a part in worsening Mary’s vulnerability as a woman, because now she is a woman with disability and the fight is now thrice as hard for her. By speaking up we could have advocated for a fair trial, a just judiciary system and her right to health care.
We are scared because we are divided. There are those fighting for a good cause then there are also slacktivists and patriarchy princesses who still want favors from the same systems which are oppressing us. They can’t afford to cross the line because they could end up like Mary, Not realizing that we already exist in the oppressive environments and the only way out is solidarity.
If you are a woman and you care, maybe it’s time for us to put our differences and past experiences aside and speak with one voice.
We will have to do more than just hiding behind the keyboard or remaining in our comfort zones. Let’s shake the status quo.
Remember if we choose silence, we have sided with the oppressor.
#TellingHerUntoldStory