By Nyasha B Dube
As she finished mopping her room, Ruvarashe* heaved a contented sigh, marvelling at the pristine condition of the freshly scrubbed floors. Dressed in a floral dress, with her braided hair pulled back in a neat ponytail, she walked over and sat down. The first thing you would notice about her was the bright smile on her face. Ruva seemed to be taking everything in her stride, exuding a sense of composure that spoke of an innate intelligence and resilience.
However, as she took a seat and began to narrate her story, there was a slight tremble in her voice. It was as if she’s suppressing the trauma that was just lurking beneath the surface.
Despite it all, she remained poised and composed, determined to put on a brave face and work through the struggles. You could sense the strength within her, and it was hard not to feel inspired by her resilience.
Ruvarashe narrates her story:
Childhood Victimization
My parents passed away when I was in Grade 6. I started staying with my aunt, father’s sister. Everything was fine for two years until when i had to go to secondary school. My aunt was experiencing fertility issues in her marriage and as a family they agreed that I would be her surrogate, I was a child and did not know what was going on. One day she drugged me and dragged me to her room. Her husband raped me whilst my aunt was pinning me down. Her house help saw everything and helped me report to the police.
Justice
My aunt and uncle were arrested and I was taken to a children’s home. I thought everything was fine until my uncle died in prison. The whole family started blaming me for reporting the case and the death of my uncle as he was the breadwinner.
Victim Blaming
One of my aunts came and took me from the children’s home saying she would take care of me only to end up abusing me and chasing me away from home. For a while I lived in the streets. I went back to the police station to report the abuse but because of my aunt’s influence she denied and told the law enforcers that I had mental health challenged. I was taken to a mental health institution in Bulawayo to be assessed.
A second chance
I finished secondary school and passed then enrolled at Midlands State University. My tuition was paid for by well wishers. I studied Human Resources Management and graduated. I was ready to take charge of my life until my aunt came back again.
Nightmare and Quest for survival
My aunt tore up all my documents and certificates. She was still bitter about everything that had happened before. I tried staying with maternal relatives but they ended up being victimized as well because of me. I went to Johannesburg, South Africa in 2009 and tried to earn a living but it was a challenge. I came back in 2019 and started staying here in Mandava engaging in sex work.
Climbing out of the abyss
Given a chance I would like to start over and get my life on track. Engaging in sex work has not been easy for me as I have faced my fair share of challenges. I have experienced emotional and physical abuse from clients. The woman who took me in sometimes does not pay me or give me food after working all night. I am on antiretroviral medication and my health is at risk. I have a child that I must take care of. If I could get help with replacing my identity documents a d certificates, it would be easier for me to look for a job.
Emotional, Psychological and Behavioral Impacts of Childhood Rape
Childhood rape is an atrocious crime that often leaves a deep and lasting impact on survivors, both emotional and behavioral. A recent study published in the Journal of Traumatic Stress found that children who have been raped often experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues as a result of their trauma.
Childhood rape survivors often have feelings of shame, guilt, anxiety, and fear, which can impact their future relationships, work, and social interactions. It also affects their sense of trust, safety, and control, leading to struggles with intimacy and trust in relationships. Additionally, survivors may experience extreme anger, mood swings, substance abuse, and self-harm behaviors as coping mechanisms for their overwhelming emotions.
The impact of childhood rape extends well into adulthood, leading to difficulties in forming healthy relationships and trusting others. The survivors often experience a sense of shame and stigma that prevents them from seeking help or even acknowledging their experiences.
The study further highlights the importance of providing counseling and support services to childhood rape survivors to help them cope with the impact of trauma. Counseling can help the survivors to process their emotions, foster resilience, and find healthy ways to cope with the trauma.
By offering support and protection, survivors can be best helped to move beyond their trauma and heal their emotional scars.
*Not her real name