BY PRIMROSE GURA- The many times he tried to talk to me I was not intrigued. I did not mention it to anyone because to me it was just one of those guys who just approaches a girl to prove a point or try out their luck. I certainly was not going to pay attention to that. I was in a whole new city and had better things to look forward to. A relationship was certainly not on the list, not after that abusive ex boyfriend of mine.
I was having the most amazing day at work and had already made friends .It was lunchtime and I was taking a tour of the new workplace with my new friend .There he was again. I tried to hide but it was too late. I wasn’t going to hide because I was starting to develop interests in him but I genuinely did not want to talk to him. I was not going to be rude so I talked to him and tried to keep the conversation short and lucky enough I had my friend to rescue me .I don’t know what happened on the day but I started to notice him. I was scared because I somehow knew how it would play out.
Let’s cut the story short. Fast forward to three months later we were dating. Yes I know it sounds funny but he gave me all the reason to say yes. I have to say the guy knew how to chase. He waited for me to fall for him he did everything to make sure that I did
, and when he got satisfied that he had me right where he wanted the tables turned I became the chaser. I remembered Steve Harvey, how he always says men like to chase. Why was I not being chased? I tried to be the caring, loving and considerate. I did not get an emotion in form of appreciation or acknowledgement in the least. Sometimes I would wake up not even sure if I was still in a relationship. I am sure many of you know what I mean. I don’t know who told men that not showing emotions is sign strength. It’s okay to say I love you back its okay to say I love you first, it’s okay to be concerned and it’s even okay to cry. If I did not text we would go for days without talking and it would not bother him. The worst part is I had to face him every day and I had to pull up a straight face but deep down I knew that something was wrong.
Emotionally unavailable guys show those feelings to which they truly desire and are afraid to lose. To them it can be a game, the thrill of chasing. Once you give in the game ends. The excitement is not there anymore. They know they have you in the palm of their hands. They literally can control you and as sad as it is you allow it. By this time they have become your world. You are totally hooked and they know it. To them this is victory.
It will never get better for what I know, it gets worse. Emotionally unavailable partners blow hot and cold. Disappear and come back. Miss and forget you. They do this on their own terms, time and interest. Usually at this moment the one in love tries to be good, caring, loving as a way of trying to make the partner to love them back. Newsflash, you can never love someone into loving you back. If they never did they probably won’t notice your efforts.
Getting out of this situation is extremely difficult. The more they distance themselves the more you long for their love and affection. You suppress your feelings. Your wants, needs and purpose become secondary. Theirs become your priority. You begin to nurture them like a baby. Turn a blind eye to the hurt and pain, ignore the obvious red flags and give excuses for them .By this time you halfway of loosing yourself. There is a great probability that at that time they are already chasing someone else. Deep down you know it’s true, because these guys like to chase. So if they are not chasing you who are they chasing?