BY PRIMROSE GURA- “She is too fat, she is too short, I am so ugly or you are too thin”. We hear these statements everyday and they have become part of our lives. We have become so obsessed with how we look to an extent that it defines whether we are happy or not. Accepting ourselves as we are has become a challenge but instead we choose body shaming. We are so hard on ourselves that we forget that we were created to be different from one another. No one has the perfect model of how someone should look like.
Body shaming manifests when we criticize ourselves by comparing our appearance to others. “She looks prettier than me, her body is flattering than mine”. We have done this so many times and sometimes not even realising that we are doing it. We have become our own worst critics. Body shaming can also refer to critiquing other people’s appearances in front them or in their absence. This is common amongst women who find pleasure in bringing others down as a way of hiding their own insecurities. Being smaller or having a certain body shape has been the ultimate goal for every woman.
Body shaming has huge effects that people might take for granted. For children in schools, it makes up the most part of bullying. A significant percentage of children drop out of school because of being teased about their appearance. These children are most likely to fall into depression or find refuge in eating more or less, which is a danger to their health. Research has shown that eating disorders begin at age of 10 to 20 years. In the long run they become victims of Obesity or Anorexia. Body shaming is bigger than it is made out to be. It is even worse in the African context because body shaming is downplayed and looked at as being playful. Boys are forced to hide how it affects them because they will be portrayed as weak. Hence, they brush it off. Consequences may not be apparent at that time but in the long run they can result in harmful choices.
Dealing with body shaming is very difficult because we easily internalise what we see and hear from the outside world. The trick is not to internalise the comments and criticism because they will cause us to be uncomfortable being around others or even refrain from interacting with others. We should always remember that critics and negative comments have nothing to do with the receiver but rather says a lot about the giver. This is why it is important to give ourselves a break accept and embrace our looks. The trick is to be healthy and happy.
If you can, defend yourself and others who have been victims of body shaming. It takes boldness and courage but trust me it’s all worth it. Explain to them how their comments affect you and others. Some people are not aware of the damage they are causing others until you call it out. Emotions get the best of us but it’s advisable to respond from a place of love not anger. Take this as an opportunity to correct and teach. This is a step towards stopping body shaming.