BY NYASHA DUBE – Parenting can be a very challenging role for many. It has become even more challenging with the technology advancement, changes in lifestyles, habits, moral beliefs, and what some may call western influence.
Being a parent to millenials and Generation-Z popularly known nowadays as “ama 2000” has become a nightmare for many, who have found themselves trying out different parenting hacks in an effort to raise their children in a decent way and protect them from outside influence.
At the end of the day it all goes down to the relationship between parents and their children.
Parent-child relationship is a special and unique bond that is critical for the development of a child, but in most African homes this bond is often not as strong as it should be, which leads to misunderstandings between the two parties.
Parents and their children end up clashing when it comes to life choices and standards up to which children choose to live, some which go beyond what is perceived as the norm.
In this article we get to read about the stories of young people who chose to take up career paths and life choices that usually attract disapproval from parents.
They share how they managed to communicate with their parents and maintain the strong bond despite the misunderstandings.
We also get insight from a mother of three boys, as she shares how she has kept the strong bond with her sons.
Edify Hove (Model/ Student)
“As someone who loves modelling make up, I haven’t faced challenges with my parents. I started modelling in high school and my dad supported me a lot. Even when I was in university where models are portrayed in a bad light, my parents understood my passion. Even with hairstyles, I love colourful and funky hair, my parents actually compliment me as they understand that it’s my way of expressing myself. I have a very good relationship with my parents. They actually pay for my modelling outfits. We are not a very rich family but they try their best to help me realize my dream because to them my happiness comes first”
Tafadzwa Mbango (Elder Taffie/ T bike- Musician)
“My parents and relatives played a critical role in my upbringing. I started singing at a very tender age, I was in grade five and I would sing sungura and zimdancehall. My parents were totally against my choice by then because of our religious beliefs, I go to Madzibaba (Apostolic sect) and also because they believed that I should focus on my schoolwork. I actually used to hate them for that but as I matured I got to understand their concerns. They now support my music career. So sometimes it’s an issue of how you choose to handle the conflict between you and your parents. If you really want to make peace with them you can, under whatever circumstances”.
Chioniso Mashakada (Sports journalist/ soccer fanatic)
“I became passionate about sport when I was very young and I would mingle with boys a lot. By them my parents were not on my side as they could not understand how a girl child can love soccer. As I grew up my dad realised that it was my passion and started loosening up. It is when he learnt about other female sports casters like Patricia Jacob and Yvonne Mangunda among others, that he fully accepted my passion for sport. But in terms of academics chose marketing for me as he said it was a decent profession yet I wanted to do journalism. It is only last year that he realised my heart was not into marketing at all. He actually supported me when I auditioned to be a sports presenter. All I can say is the road was not an easy one, parents find it hard to accept that their girl child wants to venture into a male dominated industry, they become over protective. Now I have my parents’ full support and the whole process strengthened our bond”.
Nobuhle Mahlahla (Mother of three)
“I have three sons, one in form 1 and two others in ecd. The one in form 1 often wants to copy dress codes of other peers, so I regularly sit with him and explain our financial situation that its different from that of other families. When it comes to sex education, I clearly explain to him that sex is for adults and that there are many consequences of engaging in premarital sex. I do not condone premarital sex and do not support it though i understand I am not in full control of his actions and decisions. My duty as a mother is to guide him on what is right or wrong. I bought him a phone and told him that on internet there are pornographic movies and that it’s not good to open those sites. So he knows he may delete history after googling. So its an issue of openness and frank talk with my older son. The ECD ones are young so we watch cartoons together , interpreting what would be happening. We are raising children differently because now parents no longer allowed to beat their children as a form of punishment but when there is need forbeating we have to. Lets remember we are moulding future Zimbabweans who are supposed to be responsible citizens so they need to be guided accordingly”.