Written by Tadiwanashe Burukai-Matutu
I mean the topic did definitely get you intrigued right, now you are wondering what this article is going to be about. Well basically today I want to call out “Individuals” especially in the civil society community who claim to be feminist “allies” but are the first to cast the stone in ridiculing, belittling, name calling and expressing toxicity masculinity tendencies when they are called out for their hypocritical actions or speech.
I know you have experienced this if you are a woman and you can count more incidences than you choose to remember. I personally find it quite frustrating and infuriating when those who claim to be our supporters, allies, friends tend to be the first to stab us and hit below the belt. Let’s not talk about being called emotional or too loud or too much or petty or stop bickering.
I tend to write a piece for international women’s day every year and this year I got caught up in a lot and had almost forgotten my happy place. However past experiences, side conversations and self-reflections led me to taking time to share how this year’s theme was sounding on breaking the bias as we work towards Gender equity in our communities.
I recently came across an Expressional post by Lisa Osborne Ross on LinkedIn (https://bit.ly/3wNaQAu) as she shared on “The double standard and extra layer on the glass ceiling can be exhausting and maddening.” I couldn’t have said it better its excruciatingly frustratingly emotionally maddening!!Worse of all is that the most gut wrenching comes from our male counterparts who claim to support us. I say claim because your private behavior and words shadow your public stunts. Its quite unfortunate that as women have normalized these double standards and hypocrisy and just wade it or brush it off with a smirk smile so the work continues. I am tired though, my jaws are exhausted from the fake smiles and swallowing the emotional pain.
I will now speak out and loudly!
I will be heard!I will call you out!
I will not be silenced or brushed off!
I will not tolerate blackmail or grey shades of threats!
I will not be intimidated!
I call out to “US” women to work together, to organize and mobilize ourselves. There is so much power, support in number and we can achieve that. On that note Let’s ensure we are not publicly working on #breakthebias for monetary incentives or in the name of putting food on the table while privately being Chauvinists and exhibiting traits of toxic masculinity.
Did I offend you? Oh well imagine me, welcome to our daily lives. I also fall short and need to invest in self-reflection to ensure I don’t become the hypocrite I speak against.
Womensupportingwomen
womandla
PS. Join a related #vaginamonologue live stream on Instagram @womandlafoundation {https://bit.ly/3iPjndS} on 31 March 2022 @6pm CAT.
Tadiwanashe Burukai-Matutu is a feminist, freelance writer and PhD candidate.